Monogram Week 2009!

Prior to the 1950’s there was a handful of tiny movie studios that cranked out super low budget cheapies by the truck load for the movie hungry public. These studios were known as the “poverty row” studios. One of the most prolific of these was Monogram Pictures, which was responsible for many a b-movie, but what interests me was their horror output from the 40’s. These movies were stinkers, but many of them featured horror stars such as Bela Lugosi and George Zuco, assuring their place in classic horror history.

Since it’s Monogram Week, let’s take some time to remember some of those classic films from the little studio that could. Well, the monster movies at least.

Day One –

The Invisible Ghost (1941)

Let’s make one thing clear right off the bat – there is no invisible ghost in this movie. There’s also no ghost, nor does anyone turn invisible. So why the heck is it called the Invisible Ghost? Who knows! The title is just as confusing as the films convoluted, non-sensible plot which is as follows.

Bela Lugosi plays a kindly old man with a strange quirk; once a year he has his house staff (the guy must be pretty will off financially) prepare a dinner for both himself and his wife. Nothing strange about that except some years before poor Bela’s wife ran off with another guy and was killed in a car crash yet he still talks to her like she was there. But so what, everyone knows that mental illness is ok as long as the suffering person is happy so his daughter and her boy friend don’t worry about it much.

What Lugosi doesn’t know is that his wife is still alive, kept hidden in a shack by his grounds keeper because he couldn’t bear to have Bela see her in poor condition. This does not make sense, but it’s the movies fault and not mine, so don’t blame me. Late at night his wife wanders out from the shack and stands in front of a window for some reason.

When Bela spots her he goes into a strange trance and murders his maid in her room by strangling her to death with his robe. The image of Bela Lugosi approaching the camera which cheery music blares from the maid’s radio and removing his robe while smiling wickedly is both creepy and funny at the same time. The next morning Bela is his old charming self again and he has no idea that he committed the murder the night before.

The body is discovered and Bela’s daughter’s boyfriend is implicated, as it turns out that they had a previous relationship. (Go figure.) Despite having no evidence against him the boyfriend is sentenced to death and even Bela pleading with the governor can’t save the guy. Just after the radio reports that the guy was just gassed or fried or whatever there’s a knock at the door and it’s the boyfriend back from the dead! Well, no, it’s not! It’s his twin brother who was doing something somewhere in South America and has returned upon hearing of his brothers plight!

Yes, this is what really happens and it does not make sense.

So his daughter, her new boyfriend the twin brother of her dead boyfriend are trying to figure out who the murder is and Bela’s wife keeps appearing at the window and Bela keeps zoning out and strangling people. Why is Bela Lugosi strangling people you may ask? Does Bela’s wife hypnotize him? When he see’s her does he just flip out and get homicidal on his house staff? Was the script writer on drugs? Who knows?! Sometimes things just happen and we have to learn to accept them. Like hurricanes and the Jonas Brothers movie.

The Invisible Ghost is an incoherent mess but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Bela Lugosi is always a hoot and it’s cool to see him play a role where he’s not a vampire or mad scientist for once. If it wasn’t for him the movie would have been a drag. The absurdity of the story and ridicules dialogue adds a fun comedic element to the films proceedings and some decent shots and camera angles keep the visuals fresh. (Well, for a poverty row film anyway.)

Let’s see how this movie measures up on the Poverty Row Scale!

Is it a horror movie? - +1
Does it have a monster in it? - +1 (Bela counts as a monster imo.)
Is Bela Lugosi in it? - +1
Does it feature a ridicules plot? - +1
Does the film have moments where it’s actually effective? - +1

Hay! A perfect five out of five. I highly recommend this bizarre little film, if you’re into that sort of thing.

An Obituary for VHS Tapes

As some of you may have heard, the last VHS tape was recently produced, and an era has officially come to a close. Before VHS (and it's arch nemesis Beta) the only way to watch a movie from the comfort of your home was to catch it on TV, or maybe 16mm/8mm film if you had a projector. But lo, the Gods of Passive Entertainment saw that their children were unhappy, and so they bestowed upon us the VHS Cassette Tape so that we might watch “Zombie Nightmare” over and over again until our tiny brains were reduced to pasty gray mush.

Suddenly you could just head out to the neighborhood video store, pick up a pizza on the way home and viola – you could watch the movie on your TV without someone annoying kid kicking the back of your seat. (Unless you had kids, but you could just lock them up in the crawlspace for an hour and a half I suppose.)

There was a problem however; there were very few movies available at first. Where there's demand there's always some big fat guy in Bermuda shorts (don't ask me why he's a big fat guy, he just is) waiting to capitalize on the opportunity. Small, fly by night video distribution companies sprang up almost overnight, putting any movie onto VHS they could get their hands on, regardless of the films quality. Bizarre, poorly dubbed foreign films , bad action movies and no budget direct to video films that should have never been viewed by anyone filled row upon row of shelf space at hasty assembled movie rental stores.

Of course, if people knew how painfully bad some of those movie were they would never have rented them! Therefore it was in the distribution companies best interest to pay a guy to paint an awesome cover for it. That way people would think they were getting when they were really getting this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RF-fcz4DlSg

There was all kinds of kick ass box art. Take this one for example -
When I first saw this I was six years old I convinced that it was the coolest movie ever made. Of course my Mom would never rent it, and my dream of watching Night of Horror went unfulfilled until about three months ago when I saw an old used copy for sale at Kensington Video. (Best video rental store in San Diego without a doubt.)

I bought it for about a buck and raced home, sure that I had rediscovered a lost classic of horror cinema. I gloated over my discovery to my wife, (who somehow manages to tolerate my bad movie obsession) put it into the VCR and prepared myself for the rapture that only a crappy monster movie can bring.

But there was no monster.

Instead I was subjugated to 76 minuets of dull torture. I went to my “happy place” for most of the movie but sometimes when I close my eyes I see flashes of some long haired teenagers sitting at a “bar” which is obviously in their parents basement. I see a poorly shot Civil War reenactment, and hear a droning narration and some sort of terrible country rock song that never ends. No awesome VHS cover zombie ever appears to save the film.

This is a good example of the power of VHS box art. 20 years later and I bought the film simply based on its cover. Imagine how important the box art was back in the 80's/early 90's when people had no clue as to what the hell they were renting. For more art, I recommend you check out this site - http://www.critcononline.com/video_compa...er_art.htm You might remember seeing some of those boxes up on the rental shelf and there's a lot of good info about the distribution companies there also. (If your a nerd and curious about that sort of thing.)

All good things had to come to an end of course. Once the major labels saw how much money the little guys were making they pushed harder to get their larger budget, mainstream films onto VHS. The bad movies were pushed of the shelf to make way for the good ones (well, arguably good) and the world moved on without “A Bell From Hell” and “ I dismember Mama.” And then came the DVD format; no more rewinding, tracking problems and what have you, and you know the rest of the story.

We owe a lot to VHS. It sparked our obsession with the home theater experience and gave new life to movies that otherwise would have otherwise vanished into obscurity. Rest in peace. Especially Night of Horror. Screw that movie.