31 Days of Halloween day 7!

C.H.U.D. (1984)

This will be a quick one. . .

Ah the 80’s, back when movie monsters didn’t look like they were rendered in a Playstation 2. The cult classic “C.H.U.D.” features many a monster and no cartoony CGI to be found anywhere. What does C.H.U.D. stand for you ask? Why Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller of course! Duh. Didn’t your mother teach you anything?

A photographer, a cop and a homeless shelter operators’ lives will circumvent when toxic-waste bellow the streets of Manhattan mutates the homeless population into hideous mutants hungry for human flesh! So basically it’s just another standard day in New York City. To give away too much of the plot would spoil some of the surprises in the film, but you’ll get to see mutants eating people left and right, a government conspiracy, 80’s hair and fashion and uh. . .did I mention the mutants yet?

Oh yeah, and John Goodman get eaten by monsters! You don’t see that every day. C.H.U.D. is a cheesy monster movie sure, but it’s a blast to watch with a group of friends late at night. If you haven’t seen it you should really check it out.

Rating – 6 out of 10 CHUD’s.

31 Days of Halloween

Day 6 – The Devil Rides Out

Hay, this is the second film I’ve written about in the past two days and this is my sixth review. And as we know, six is the number of the Devil! Could this mean something??? Well, no actually. That would be silly, just as today’s movie is a bit silly but it’s sure entertaining and so I bring to you Hammer Studio’s "The Devil Rides Out".

Hammer Studio’s churned out one classic horror movie after the other in its day and this film is one of the best. Based on the novel by Dennis Wheatly, The Devil Rides Out takes place in 1930’s London. A group of friends rescues a member of their group plus another from an evil cult. They flee across the countryside and have one supernatural encounter after the other as the cult’s leader Mocata pursues them. Luckily one of the friends, Duc de Richleau played by the legendary Christopher Lee, is an expert on the occult and it will take all of his knowledge and skill to save them.

While the film can be a little bit hammy at times with the way it presents its supernatural elements you have to remember that the movie was made in 1968 by a small studio and plus it’s based on a book from the 1930’s and the film follows it closely. Despite all this, The Devil Rides Out manages to be both a supernatural thriller and a fun adventure movie. The plot moves at a brisk pace and is never dull, jumping from one encounter with the unearthly to the next in rapid succession. Terence Fisher directs the film masterfully as always with well composed shots that make the small space Hammer had in their studio seem gigantic by comparison. The special effects doesn’t hold up quite so well but if viewed in their context as coming from an older film on a low budget this isn’t a problem.

Unsurprisingly, the stand out performer here is Christopher Lee, who’s tall, imposing presence and deep booming voice commands the screen. It’s fun to see Mr. Lee finally play a hero in this film and it’s too bad that it didn’t happen more often. Charles Gray plays the villain Mocata with the appropriate sleaze and nastiness to make it easy to cheer the hero’s on against him.

All in all, The Devil Rides Out is just a fun little horror movie that’s great for late night or rainy Sunday afternoon viewing. Highly recommended.

Rating – 7 out of 10.

31 Days of Halloween day 4 and 5 – Karloff Double Feature!

Day 4 – The Devil Commands (1941)

One of Boris Karloff’s best and yet least known movies; The Devil Commands is another tale of science gone mad. In this film Karloff plays a kindly scientist who looses his wife in a car accident. Karloff, who was experimenting with brain impulses, becomes obsessed with contacting his wife from beyond the grave and he thinks he can do this by harnessing the electrical energy generated by the brain. Ann Revere, who gives an incredibly sinister performance as a phony medium, presses Karloff onward towards the final, horrifying conclusion of his final experiment.

Although it was a low budget film, The Devil Commands status is immediately elevated by the presence of the Legendary Boris Karloff who as always turns in a great performance which is both frightening and sympathetic at the same time. (His specialty.) The real villain of the story is Ann Revere as the Medium whose performance is just dripping with pure evil. The fact that she manages to stand out as a secondary character next to Karloff is a testament to the strength of her performance. Also, in a low budget film often the first thing to suffer is the lighting which certainly isn’t the case here. The Devil Commands is lit beautifully and adds a great deal to the films dark, oppressive atmosphere.

Karloff’s experiments grow more and more blasphemous, merging science and the supernatural until the films amazing climax. The science behind the film is pretty goofy but hay, it’s an old horror movie so what can you do. This is a must see if you’re a Karloff/classic horror fan and if you’re not it’s still a fun, creepy movie regardless.

Rating - 7/10

Day 5 - The Haunted Strangler (1958)



Billed as a come back movie for Karloff, The Haunted Strangler is by far one of the better films he was involved with at the late stage of his carrier and also one of his best performances from that period. Set in Victorian London, Karloff plays a novelist who is researching a serial killer known as The Hillside Strangler who was hanged 20 years ago. After some research Karloff begins to suspect that they hanged the wrong man and that the killer is still at large. He goes to the grave where the killer was buried and digs it up to search for evidence or something like that. Hay, I haven’t seen it for a long time, cut me some slack.

When Karloff’s hand closes about the old scalpel The Strangler used he begins to twist and contort, becoming the crazed strangler! Karloff kills and wakes up with no memory of what he did the night before. As he probes deeper into the mystery of the Hillside Strangler he’ll soon discover that horrible truth behind The Hillside Strangler was that he never really died after all. . .

It’s amazing to watch Karloff’s performance here with the knowledge that he was 70 years old when the movie was filmed. He runs, he leaps, he strangles! Really, the dude has more energy here that I do on any given day. It goes to show you the type of actor Karloff was. He was a man who always gave it his all and did the best job he could regardless of what he film he was in.

No makeup was used for the killer, Karloff just twists his face up (with his dentures out) when he becomes The Strangler and it’s surprisingly effective. Just by means of his body language and movements it’s as though he becomes a completely different character. Unfortunately the rest of the cast is rather forgettable and the film can drag on at times between the action. Still, it’s completely worth the price of admission thanks to Karloff’s performance and the interesting plot. Recommended to any Karloff fan, The Haunted Strangler is perhaps his best performance out of all his “twilight” films up to his swan song, Targets. (1968)

Rating – 5 ½ out of 10.

31 Days to Halloween day 3!

Maniac Cop (1988)



It's Saturday and I have a lot of nothing to do so I'll keep it short.

Maniac Cop has one goofy title, but it's actually a very solid and entertaining movie. New York City was a dangerous place in the 80's, but it gets a whole lot worse when a seemingly superhuman cop begins violently killing people for minor offenses, and sometimes for no reason at all! It's up to rookie cop Jack Forest to put a stop to this, and he's better do it quick because he's the prime suspect!

Ok, let me run some names by you.

Larry Cohen.
Bruce Campbell.
Tom Atkins.
Robert Z'Dar.

If your a horror fan your probably salivating right now but if you don't know what I'm talking about that's fine. Take my word for it, Maniac Cap is one of those movies where the stars aline and everything works great from the script, the great story, the acting and the excellent direction. Plus, there's lots of funny cloths and big 80's hair to laugh at.

Rating – 7 ½ out of 10

31 Days of Halloween Part 2 day 2

One Dark Night (1983)

AKA - Night in the Crypt

Here's an obscure one for ya!

Well to do Julie is trying to get into the sorority known as “The Sisters” but to do so, she has to spend the night in a mausoleum. What she doesn't know is that some of the other girls are planing on sneaking in there also to scare the crap out of her. What they all don't know is that a powerful, evil psychic named Karl Rhamarevich was buried there recently, and his powers are stronger than ever before.

One Dark Night is a gem from the early 80's with passable acting, good direction and great special effects. Movies with “teens” tend to be painfully overwrite and although it gets pretty cheesy at times at least it's good cheese and the script wisely keeps the dialogue from ever getting too silly. The first half of the film drags a little bit at times as events are slowly set up to get everyone to the crypt but once they're in there the film becomes genuinely creepy.

The mausoleum is excellently filmed with long tracking shots through it's dark, empty corridors. The psychic disturbances begin slowly at first; doors close and lock on their own accord, flower pots explode and so on. When things really start to go crazy Rhamarevich actually starts busting open coffins and using the corpses inside are floating weapons! Have you ever seen someone smothered by rotten cadavers? I didn't think so!

One Dark Night is a somewhat rare film but I think it's worth tracking down if you like horror movies or if your having a little Halloween get-together and you want to show something no one has ever seen before. When you see a girl accidentally step on a corpses chest and her foot goes right through it complete with a squishy sound, you'll thank me.

Rating - 6 out of 10

31 Days of Halloween Part 2 – The Revenge of 31 Days of Halloween!

Hello there! Once again it’s October and that means my favorite holiday is fast approaching. 31 days to Halloween! I’m going to carry on the tradition I started last year by providing reviews/summaries for 31 horror movies, one per day, to give you some suggestions on what to watch on Halloween night.

I will review mainstream movies and rare obscure ones. Great films and . . . uh, not so great films. Movies that will scare you and movies that will make you wonder if someone slipped some LSD into your morning coffee. And so without further ado, on with the show!


October 1st - Dracula (1931)

Universal Studio’s 1931 classic, Dracula, ushered in a new era of horror film making, led to the golden age of classic horror and introduced the world to one of the greatest stars the horror genre has ever known, Bela Lugosi. While the movie does have its flaws I think that it’s important to watch it while keeping in mind that no one had seen anything like it before up to that point. To the people who saw it when it initially released this movie was absolutely horrifying.

Originally Dracula was planned to be a lavish, big budget affair, but those plans were scraped due to the death of the legendary Lon Chaney who was originally going to play the count, and the beginning of The Great Depression. Instead they were forced to scale down the production considerably by using the stage play as a blueprint for the film. Tod Browning directed and after considering many actors Bela Lugosi, who was staring in the stage play at the time, was able to secure the part of Dracula after much persuading and taking a smaller paycheck than the other actors.

The basic story is so well known by this point that I don’t think a complete plot summery is necessary so instead some information about the filmmaking. While most fans seem to agree the movies opening is atmospherically spooky, the second half which takes place in London feels static and staged. This is because very little was actually changed from the stage play and scenes were filmed just as they were preformed onstage with very little camera movement.

Some have questioned the quality of Tod Browning’s direction and claim the man responsible for the electrifying first half of the film was his cinematographer Karl Freund, an immigrant from Germany who had been apart of the expressionist film movement there. Looking at some of Freund’s past credits like The Golem and Metropolis it’s easy to see how this is probably true. Still, the second half is not a complete loss, as the film is saved by the amazing performances of Bela Lugosi and Dwight Frye.

Very few people think of Dracula as he is depicted in Stroker’s original book; old with pointed ears, a long white mustache and two bushy eyebrows that were almost “meeting over the nose”. When people think of Dracula or he is depicted in the media most people see Bela Lugosi, the definitive screen Dracula. His performance is memorizing from his movements to his slow deliberate line reads, or even just when he’s staring into the camera. He conveys about him an unearthly aura that is both frightening and seductive, one of power and corruption, of hunger and lust. Lugosi would become a household name and while the role would propel him to stardom it would also typecast him for the rest of his life.

Dwight Frye’s Renfield manages to be frightening, pathetic and sympathetic, sometimes all at once and at other times switching from one to the other at a moments notice. When he returns from castle Dracula he’s a raving mad man, obsessed with blood and the coming of his master. While he’s under Dracula’s control occasionally the last bit of humanity within him tries to break free, but always to fruitless results. The scenes where he ascends from the ships hold on The Vesta and the one where he quietly crawls like a spider toward the sill body of a fainted maid, eyes on her throat, are perhaps the most frightening moments of the film. Dwight Frye was a versatile and talented actor, but his performance was so great and the movie was so popular that like Lugosi, he was fated to play similar characters in films like Frankenstein, The Vampire Bat and Dead Men Walk until his untimely death in 1943.

If you haven’t seen Dracula for some time or if you’ve never seen it at all then consider dusting off or renting a copy this Halloween to see where it all started. This is a pivotal movie in film history and as a plus; it’s safe enough to watch with the kids.

Rating – Seven and a half out of ten.

I’m my own Worst Enemy – Part One

Some times I suspect that I’m secretly plotting against me to destroy myself. I regularly sabotage projects that I’m working on, break things that belong to me or I’ll forget what the hell I was doing in the first place. I even trick myself into forgetting to eat sometimes and if it wasn’t for my wife I would have probably wasted away by now.

I imagine the evil me is like the evil Spock, the same but with a goatee. Then again, I already have a goatee. Maybe then it's me without a goatee. Well, I don't have a full goatee, it's more like half a goatee on my chin. So I guess it's like Spock with a mustache? Ah, forget it.

Example – Being the good nerd that I am I downloaded the release candidate of Windows 7 to install on my computer. (I build my own computers and I’ve managed to sabotage myself there too, but that’s another story.) I back up all my important files, burn the ISO file to a disc using Nero and I install the operating system.

When the installation is completing and the time comes to enter my activation key I type it in and get a, “this is not a valid key lol” message. The hell? I type it in again and it’s a no-go. Well crap. Grumbling under my breath I go over to my wife’s computer and start downloading a Windows 7 ISO file and I get a new key for it. (At this point I am thinking that the key-code is directly linked to the specific file you downloaded, which was wrong as I would find out later.)

I install a new program on my wife’s PC do I can burn the damn file again and I get up to grab a blank DVD off my desk. I forgot that I’d just opened the DVD drive and I kick the tray you put the disc in and I broke it. I broke it really good. (Because hay, if you’re going to break something you might as well do the job right.) Now it's a cup holder sticking out of her computer.

At this point I’m a little upset. I’m under the belief that the install key-code is directly linked to the ISO file that I need to burn, and now the DVD burner is out of commission so I'm screwed. It's possible to install Win 7 off a flash drive but I don’t have one that’s big enough to hold all the data. So now I’m getting ready to reinstall Windows XP on my computer, re-download Windows 7 and reinstall all the crap I need to burn it to a disc when I get the bright idea of trying to use the other code I got off my wife’s computer.

Of course it works and if I’d done that in the first place I could have saved myself hours of time not to mention the time and money it will take to get a new DVD drive for my wife and to install it. Oh, and speaking of my wife she's forbade me from working on her computer until after finals are over because she’s afraid I’ll break something else and cause the thing to burst into flames or something along those lines.

Everything I touch I destroy.

The next morning I wake up and like each morning I take my good old 150mg Wellbutrin tablet and I put another in my pocket. That’s what I was supposed to do anyway. Instead I took one and then stuck the other one in my mouth; just barely managing to catch myself before I could swallow it. Close call! Thinking about how scatterbrained I can be sometimes I throw it away, get another tab out of the bottle and what do I do? I promptly swallow the damn thing.

I’m trying to poison myself. "See kids? It's a happy pill so eat the whole bottle! NOMNOMNOMNOMNOM!"

I figure I can handle the high dosage but I’d really rather not risk it so I try to induce vomiting but all I can throw up is water. Oh, I should mention that now I 'm running late for work. I drink a glass of salt water as an ipecac but it doesn’t help, so now I’m speeding to work with a belly full of saltwater and buzzing away on 300mg’s of a strong anti-depressive and life it just peachy. At work I felt like I had just drank a pot of espresso and I was wired until 1030 when the effects began to wear off, not to mention the fact that I was dehydrated from the glass of salt water I drank and I felt like crap.

I must be stopped before I can do any more damage. I'm my own worst enemy.